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Why Women Make Better Cheaters

Posted on December 15, 2014December 15, 2014 by OP

A good example of male privilege is how rarely men suspect their wives of cheating even when they are blatantly having affairs in their face. Male powers of deduction are appalling low simply because the average guy does not believe his spouse would dare cheat. We are socialized to think of women as ‘naturally monogamous’ while men are innately polygamous. Wives can get away with excuses that would make an innocent husband sound highly suspect. “He is the plumber I was telling you about, Hmm!” While many women wish to get married, a fairly good portion do not enjoy being married mostly because the glamour of a wedding is often confused with the reality of a marriage and not enough people are prepared to put in the work to make it thrive.

On the other hand, the average husband tends to be all talk and no action when it comes to pursuing affairs. Most guys dwell in fantasy, living vicariously through their mates illicit lives, enjoying the loyalty that is earned from covering for that one philandering pal whose company your wife detests. But empowered women now exploit their opportunities to cheat and the sad thing is that you will never know. The overt signs like wife suddenly looking sexier than ever and still pleading ‘low sex drive’, won’t be as obvious. When there is a mysterious fling in the wings, the diligence employed to cover one’s tracks would leave a Mossad counter-intelligence agent impressed. Female infidelity is real but the proof is always hard to come by because unlike men, most women can keep their cool even under the most intense scrutiny.  Even with hard proof, some men still live in denial.

Here is an illustration. A man comes home early from work one afternoon after picking his daughter from school, to find his wife naked in bed, breathing heavily, sweaty and looking very distressed. The man somewhat confused asked, “Babes, what is wrong?” In between gasps of heavy breaths, his wife looked at him, tears in her eyes, “I don’t know… I think I may be having a heart attack”. The husband panicked and rushed downstairs remembering that he had left his cellphone in the car in order to call a doctor. He was in the middle of dialing the number when his young daughter rushed to him in the living room and screamed, “Daddy! Daddy! There is a naked man in the wardrobe!” The distraught husband threw down the phone and rushed upstairs again to his bedroom and flung open the wardrobe to find his best friend inside, stark naked.

“For Christ’s sake! Jemo!” the man shouted, “my wife is in the bedroom having a heart attack and here you are sneaking around naked scaring the kids!”

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8 thoughts on “Why Women Make Better Cheaters”

  1. sheila says:
    December 15, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Hahahaha.that’s funny

    Reply
  2. Binshaddy says:
    December 16, 2014 at 3:40 am

    OP this one is a jaw dropper my friend, Jemo is that guy who goes on scaring kids

    Reply
  3. symo says:
    December 18, 2014 at 3:14 am

    The marriage institution is crazily affected nowadays.Something should be done urgently.

    Reply
  4. ongeri says:
    December 18, 2014 at 5:57 am

    Men wake up.

    Reply
  5. musularj says:
    March 9, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    women are smarter than men when it comes to wriggling out of a complicated scenario

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      March 9, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      You are right about that.

      Reply
  6. Milli says:
    March 16, 2015 at 7:54 am

    Ha ha ha! Blind bat.

    Reply
  7. lewis osoro says:
    May 9, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Very true this article. Very funny too.

    Reply

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Oyunga Pala is a pioneering satirist and columnist. He remains one of the most impactful, Kenyan columnists of his generation. He examines the texture of everyday life, moving away from the traditional idea of African men as victims of modernity and disillusion. His writings commonly feature the struggles of African men to maintain integrity as they navigate the pathways of power, fatherhood, memory, and existence.

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Oyunga Pala is a pioneering satirist and columnist. He remains one of the most impactful, Kenyan columnists of his generation. He examines the texture of everyday life, moving away from the traditional idea of African men as victims of modernity and disillusion. His writings commonly feature the struggles of African men to maintain integrity as they navigate the pathways of power, fatherhood, memory, and existence.

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