Menu
  • Home
  • About OP
  • ARCHIVES
  • Podcast
  • Contact Us
Menu

Why There Is No Such Thing As A Sworn Bachelor

Posted on May 14, 2014May 14, 2014 by OP

Away from the depressing local news headlines, Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor is off the market.   The guy who made bachelorhood seem like a calling, is getting hitched.  Personally, I like George Clooney. He is a decent actor who always struck me as accessible and his work had some measure of principle. I liked his roles in Ocean’s Eleven franchise and in the Syriana. His political/humanitarian activism in places such as Darfur and Haiti seemed fairly impactful. But we know Clooney more for the string of beautiful women he dated and the endless magazine covers that focused solely on his ‘sexiness’ and eligibility.

George Clooney, described as one of the enduring male sex symbols of the silver screen had often sworn he would never get married. Therefore, his change of heart has shone a huge spotlight on the exotic woman who stole his heart. Her name is Amal Alamuddin, a British-Lebanese who is the perfect beauty and brains package. She has a resume that will impress even her most envious critics. She advised Koffi Anan on Syria and represented Wikileaks founder Julian Assange in his fight against extradition. Clearly she is the brainy one in the relationship and at 53 years of age, George Clooney will coming out shining for hooking up with a smarter woman. Women respect men who are not intimidated by sharp women. It is a sign of cahones because the popular myth is that men run scared when faced with the prospect of life with an intellectually superior woman.

George knew that stakes were high here. So he proposed to Amal with a $750, 000 diamond ring.  I doubt they would be a girl out there who would hesitate for moment at a sight of a rock that large. Therefore, what can we learn from this George affair, for as it is written in Hollywood, so shall it play out in our lives. The first is that some things do not change. Nothing says “I love you” more clearly than a diamond. Secondly is that there is no such thing as a sworn bachelor. A man may live in denial for years but as long as he has a flourishing career and some measure of stability sooner or later some woman will convince him to make room for two on his island. Thirdly, the right woman can clear all doubts and hurts held from previous relationships and change even the most rigid of cynics.

The narrative for single women who intimidate men with their brains is one of hope. Amal found George, so the prospects cannot be that bad. Hang in there, make no compromise and some good man, who is rich, famous, good looking and terribly well-mannered will come knocking. I wouldn’t be optimistic of the options out there. You would have better luck finding a hen with teeth than a single man over 40 devoid of serious baggage.

For aspiring bachelors, Clooney is not the ideal role model. Anyone who is not married by 53, had better have a solid alibi for this omission in their life. An independent and successful woman in her 50s could always level the excuse that men were intimidated by her brilliance. A bachelor in his 50s on other hand will be dismissed as a miser shunning responsibility, a woman hater and probably a closeted gay man.

The bottom line. You can’t be single and happy forever. Some day, you will have to get married.

 

Spread the love

7 thoughts on “Why There Is No Such Thing As A Sworn Bachelor”

  1. Andreanne says:
    May 14, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    Hi OP,just found your blog and can’t stop going through all previous articles,they’re such great reads, but then regarding this piece,where does that leave you?

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      May 16, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      Thanks you and you are welcome. Dig around. You will find some good stuff.
      As far the article, I suppose, tough choices.

      Reply
  2. Ndinda says:
    May 20, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Haha. I like that, ‘where does that leave you?’ Yeah, where does that leave you, Pala? Nice read. Always been a fan since High School. Man Talk has never been the same to me btw.

    Reply
  3. Arkan says:
    May 26, 2014 at 10:29 am

    I have tried my best to be better and rise above it, but I just have to be-labour it “‘where does that leave you?’” can’t wait… what gives you the right to live happily while the rest of of suffer normalcy? anyway.

    🙂

    Reply
  4. ArkAn says:
    May 26, 2014 at 10:30 am

    I have tried my best to be better and rise above it, but I just have to be-labour it “‘where does that leave you?’” can’t wait… what gives you the right to live happily while the rest of us have to suffer normalcy? anyway.

    🙂

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      May 28, 2014 at 8:44 pm

      That was my attempt at irony. I view it as two sides of the same coin. It is a simple choice where you choose to dwell. The person rather than the arrangement is what makes any state of existence work.

      Reply
  5. J Gitau says:
    June 5, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Hallo Oyunga. Are you still a bachelor or has that status changed.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Oyunga Pala is a pioneering satirist and columnist. He remains one of the most impactful, Kenyan columnists of his generation. He examines the texture of everyday life, moving away from the traditional idea of African men as victims of modernity and disillusion. His writings commonly feature the struggles of African men to maintain integrity as they navigate the pathways of power, fatherhood, memory, and existence.

Looking For Something?

FEATURED VIDEO

Recent Posts

  • Finding My Own Story – By The Sea.
  • Down the Amstel river
  • The Funeral
  • The Sex Museum
  • A Meditation For Winter

Archives

  • ►2022 (7)
    • ►April (1)
    • ►February (3)
    • ►January (3)
  • ►2021 (11)
    • ►December (3)
    • ►November (6)
    • ►June (1)
    • ►March (1)
  • ►2020 (1)
    • ►February (1)
  • ►2019 (1)
    • ►January (1)
  • ►2018 (26)
    • ►November (1)
    • ►October (1)
    • ►July (1)
    • ►May (2)
    • ►April (3)
    • ►March (2)
    • ►February (4)
    • ►January (12)
  • ►2017 (76)
    • ►December (6)
    • ►November (4)
    • ►October (6)
    • ►September (6)
    • ►August (6)
    • ►July (7)
    • ►June (6)
    • ►May (8)
    • ►April (6)
    • ►March (8)
    • ►February (7)
    • ►January (6)
  • ►2016 (77)
    • ►December (5)
    • ►November (9)
    • ►October (8)
    • ►September (10)
    • ►August (12)
    • ►July (7)
    • ►June (4)
    • ►May (5)
    • ►April (4)
    • ►March (4)
    • ►February (5)
    • ►January (4)
  • ►2015 (57)
    • ►December (5)
    • ►November (5)
    • ►October (4)
    • ►September (3)
    • ►August (5)
    • ►July (4)
    • ►June (5)
    • ►May (4)
    • ►April (6)
    • ►March (6)
    • ►February (6)
    • ►January (4)
  • ►2014 (44)
    • ►December (6)
    • ►November (5)
    • ►October (4)
    • ►September (4)
    • ►August (5)
    • ►July (2)
    • ►June (1)
    • ►May (3)
    • ►April (5)
    • ►March (4)
    • ►February (2)
    • ►January (3)
  • ►2013 (37)
    • ►October (4)
    • ►September (2)
    • ►August (5)
    • ►July (4)
    • ►June (4)
    • ►May (4)
    • ►April (4)
    • ►March (4)
    • ►February (3)
    • ►January (3)
  • ►2012 (60)
    • ►December (1)
    • ►November (7)
    • ►October (6)
    • ►September (5)
    • ►August (7)
    • ►July (13)
    • ►June (16)
    • ►April (5)

Subscribe to our newsletter!

O Y U N G A P A L A

Oyunga Pala is a pioneering satirist and columnist. He remains one of the most impactful, Kenyan columnists of his generation. He examines the texture of everyday life, moving away from the traditional idea of African men as victims of modernity and disillusion. His writings commonly feature the struggles of African men to maintain integrity as they navigate the pathways of power, fatherhood, memory, and existence.

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Oyunga Pala © 2021