SMS: Short Man Syndrome

When it comes to dating, there is no such thing as a level playing field. For a start, if you are male over 18 and still under 5 “4, consider yourself disadvantaged. Women will walk past you like you were transparent. Contrary to what the good book says, not all men were created equal, at least not in the eyes of the woman. Girls detest short men for no legit reason other than the need to continue looking up to men. Idealists will argue that such thinking is outdated and sexist but if you think height is overrated, think again. Otherwise short women in high heels will routinely blurt out height slurs like, “I can never date short guys” and they are dead serious. It is not a coincidence that the female holy trinity still stands rooted as tall, dark and handsome and not caring, sensitive and honest.

When good looks aren’t your strength, they will let you by on the might of your bank balance but on height they will be no debate. Women will be forgiving of the overweight and won’t really fret over your misplaced fashion sense but show up short and sneer immediately creeps into their faces. In other words the only short people guaranteed of dates without a great deal of fuss are like Tom Cruise, rich and powerful.

Regular ordinary people born on the short side of life have learnt to live with this genetic consequence. In a height prejudiced society the short encounter innumerable challenges. Imagine a world where you stand up to address people and some smart alec shouts, “Can you stand up please, we can’t see you from the back”. A world where lifts are filled with giants. Where bar stools are mounted and driving a car means your feet won’t always touch the pedals. Where efforts are made to choose flat shoes for the bride and where you have to tip toe to kiss the bride. Where short women avoid you in order to give their unborn kids a better chance at succeeding in life.

The question is why is height so important for women? Does it actually make a difference in bed? Well, most girls will nod sheepishly to that. They claim short guys have to stop during the act just to kiss them. After play, at a time when men are drained and drowsy women just want be spooned, she doesn’t want you kicking her thighs or puffing out hot breath on her back.

Essentially height is linked to sex appeal.  Height equals dominance and one place that the female still appreciates and expects male dominance is in the bedroom. It is arguably the world worst kept secret and expect mass denial every time this subject is raised.

Deep down, beyond the tough talk and high heels, women still want to feel feminine and protected. They want to be cuddled back, a task that teddy bears find extremely challenging. They long for the big, tall and strong bear hugs the ones that reach all around your back and feel so good. They want to be looking up into your eyes when you lower your lips. It is incredibly cheesy stuff but you will be surprised by how seriously these expectations are taken.

Every woman has a why-I-will-not-date-a-short-man theory. Top on the list is that short guys suffer from an inferiority complex that only serves to make them seriously infuriating. In a bid to look tall, they often draw unfavorable attention to themselves. At work, height-challenged bosses demand unquestionable respect and seem to derive a certain thrill from putting down taller employees. Short husbands will use their height as a crutch conveniently latching onto it every time they feel cornered. In bed, the short men try too hard to please in a bid to prove that height does not always count. At the local bar, it is always the short bloke who has the last word.

In this society, height is an asset or so it appears. Tall women know it, and they will put on high heels just to rub it in further. Height and confidence in a woman is a combination that even the averaged height bloke dreads. Long legs rule and the moments she struts in those tight jeans only taller men stand a chance. I suppose tall women despise shorter men because of what happened in their formative years. Revenge is still fashionable, you know. As toddlers, boys out rightly avoided taller girls and made nasty jokes in their faces.

I can’t express to you how horrific high school was for a tall gal. Tall girls had to be exceptionally beautiful to draw attention. Tall and lanky wasn’t going to get you any dates especially if you walked slouched, your back bowed like you always trying to avoid knocking your head on something. Years later though her body would fill up and in a world ruled by the beautiful model profile, the tall girl finds her self leaping from obscurity to that plum place where men plead for your attention. Any woman who understands this will always have a string of admirers waiting patiently for the day you will take notice.

Male or female, the perks are reserved for the lofty members of society. It is the way it has been and it is the way it will always be so can the short whiny types put a sock in it. Inequality defines most societies. Rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, tall and handsome or short and challenged. We attach a lot of importance to these labels because they give us status. So it is fair to conclude that women will continue to say, “I don’t date short guys” and short guys who believe them will continue to complain that life is not fair. The truth is nobody can put you down without your permission. The only real disadvantages in life exist in our heads.

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