What you say can and will be used against you. It isn’t just a fancy line from a cop flick anymore. Say the wrong thing at the right time and you walk into a weird situation with your eyes wide open. I stand accused not because I did something unforgivable like sleeping with another woman neither do I have four kids from another marriage.
If anything, I find it extremely odd that a woman I had known for hardly a month and only just recently spent a night with would totally flip just because I did not call the morning after a shag. A man and woman share a fun evening together and the woman decides, “That’s the kind of chemistry, I need in my life”. She will wake up the next day all giggly and glowing and you had better have called before lunch to say something sweet. Relationships experts will repeatedly remind you that boys are different from girls therefore you mustn’t hurt girls. Which then means you mustn’t trust boys because one day when the boy and girl are all grown up, the big girl will say to big boy; How could you hurt me like this? I trusted you.
Why is it so important that you call within the 12 hours of your last meeting? Granted, I promised to call, but things do get in the way and before I knew it, two days were gone. I did eventually call which doesn’t mean I can’t be trusted. I was going to call after the Man United game but I forgot. The most I was going to say anyway was “ Thanks girl, how about the same time next Friday”. I am quite sure that is not what she wanted to hear. I am not suggesting that you should never pick up the phone. All I inquire is why the mad dash? Give yourself at least 24 hours of freedom before you get wrapped in the guilt feelings. Once you call you back, they will be expectations and talk of a programmed future. If you are going make such a radical change in your life, you need time to think through the implications.
When you are in doubt, don’t call. You are better off saying, “ I run out of credit. I am in Suguta valley, Please call me”. That gives you time to ask a lady friend what you did wrong as you prepare your defense.
You will make many phone calls in your lifetime, but always spare some thought before you call the morning after sex. Women attach extreme value to that particular phone call. It means you care and you are thinking about her. Next thing she has her ‘best friend’ on the line, “Guess what? I met someone and he has potential”. When a man promises to call and he doesn’t call, it obviously for a number of reasons, like the need to earn a living or the basic fact that sometimes girls aren’t that pleasant a sight in the morning now that the lust has cleared. Rarely do the boys understand the repercussions of that thoughtless action.
Women love to talk about romantic encounters or why else would they remember the ‘first time’. More probable than not she would have already started to complain to her friend before the next day’s evening and you will find them at the fancy restaurant having coffee and more black forest cake. “What does this mean? Why hasn’t he called? Is he married?” A woman will get even more irritated if she actually fancied you.
If man says he will call and doesn’t, it simply means he not that into you. Just in the same way, if a woman promises to call and fails to, it is probably because she has sobered up and now knows better. The thing is, if a woman promises to call and doesn’t, the man will probably just pick up the phone and call her himself and he certainly won’t call to his mates to figure out the problem. In fact if he tried, his buddies would probably tell him to get a life or a beer. Nobody will try to work out what the problem is nor will anyone suggest the need for comfort food.
The fat question at this point is why the woman never take the responsibility to make the first call. Is airtime really that expensive? This is yet another clear example of reverse sexism. Morning after drama is a female malady that normally affects women who choose to associate kundalini-rising action with love. Besides, it was only one night. How about a couple of months before you jump to conclusions because as romantic as love found after the first night may sound, it isn’t always sensible especially when there was alcohol involved? If anything, if a man takes you through the standard date routine, fills up your stomach with fancy food, buys the wine, puts on the right music, remembers to light the candle and actually makes a good account of himself between the sheets, a little appreciation like a thank you phone call in the morning isn’t too much to ask.
However, the unspoken rule is if a man has sex with a woman he owes her and the least he could do is call. The assumption is that you harbor the same intense feelings and the heady urge to say something soapy. That’s unnecessary pressure. If a man wants to call, he should on his own volition.
It takes two to tango, so if you had a good time, pick up the phone and say so. It won’t make you look cheap and the man will certainly feel appreciated. As for the boys, never underestimate the power of a phone made promptly the morning after.
Image source: liquorandkarate.com
23 thoughts on “I Forgot To Call The Morning After, Now She Is Mad”
I have to ask, what’s kundalini rising action? Hahaha… This was hilarious Pala. And yes, fellas deserve a thank you call in the morning too, but good luck using that brilliant logic to get out of the dog house.
Kundalini rising is sex that feels like an out-of-body experience, whereby thin beads of sweat trickle down along your spine like serpent hence kundalini.
Aha! That was so not what I had in mind…ha! Thank you, sir, for that most useful clarification.
Totally agree…we men are the ones who deserve that thank you phone call,that isn’t too much to ask,is it?hehehe…an awesome read Pala,like always
bloody eye shot, Kundalini. nice read
Call in the space of 12 hours and you are doomed. Especially if you had been drunk
Hmmmmm….”Gender Roles” defined by the mobile?…. In whose dreams? Then again by whose standards? Who moved the goal posts and un-leveled the ground; playing or otherwise…
Pala.. neat article.. but “You promised!!!”
See, dude.. if you.. the guy… (like alot of guys) who in your past articles prides himself on “My word is my bond” stuff.. then thats just what it is.. the rope that you hang or save yourself with.. when it comes to chicks /females and Women especially..
I doubt your friend had a problem calling you to organise round 2.. BUT YOU Mr Word-Is-My-Bond promised ..So dont be promising.. but you can use:
“Call ya!” – non-expiry commitment.
“See you around/ Tuchekiane / Tuko Pamoja”
Or my personal favourite..’Wake up, start hacking and snorting in the bathroom, get back to the room, ignore her look of utter disgust and ask her to call you a taxi. Give your best sheepish look and ask her for taxi fare to Rongai.’ She wont call you, and you wont hear from her again. (her call!)
I like the Rongai line, very original.
Hihihi…..nice one Mumbi
Neat article OP….. Kundalini…mmmmmmhhhhh..crafty word that is.. I should start using it…
Remedy to use : ‘We will talk.’ Never specify the time, date or who to start the talking. That way everyone wins rather there’s an angle to argue.
The moment you have her, there’s unspoken promises and you guys will always be the bad guy when the ever elusive call is not received..he seemed so nice, sniff!!
Just call the girl!!
It will solve a lot of problems before they materialize.
tuchekiane…then cab fare to Rongai. Too fresh. Mumbi you should start giving Oyunga a run for his money – with the ideas you have..though his ‘kundalini rising action’ would still carry the day.
And women need to know that whatever a man speaks or promises before and during the run-in-the-sack rarely comes from the right head, so it’s not morally binding. Many a guy has declared how he’ll give a friend with benefits his Beemer, only to speed off come morning, and give reasons/excuses such as, ‘nilipoteza simu baibe.’
Happy new year OP, with a slow day in the office, its nice re-reading your posts….Gals should always be called the next day, especially if it was not a one night stand….what were you guys talking in the one month preceeding ‘the kundalini?’ That would be a nice place to start from. Its not always that gals want commitment after a ‘kundalini’ night, U’ll be surprised to know that chicks could prefer friendship to relationships….Then again i could be wrong…u did say she was very mad….pole ndugu
Thanks Lucia and happy new year too. The usual action will resume shortly.
OP I’ve always loved ure sense of humor in bringing out the things that happen in our daily routines.I salute u.
Read the first sentence and concluded that you are an idiot! After thinking about it a bit longer – I realized that u are not dumb – you just don’t care about this chic…. so don’t pretend that you don’t know why she is angry.. you do … but you just don’t care. Let me warn you Mr Pala – the day you meet a chic who wants to f**k and nothing else but you like her … you will know the agony chicks go through on a regular basis and trust me … it will happen … to yearn for someone who sees you as as a replacement for a toy i.e vibrator … Dude … utalia machozi.Call her and pretend if you have to.
Nothing new here – standard behavior on both the guy’s and the gal’s part. What is really tiring is each gender professes not to understand the other gender’s behavior and thus be surprised. I have heard this story told so many times in the exact same way. Not sure why we are still talking about this.
A great piece…though am reading it months later…and I have a response to that…when am not using my phone to read though…great article!
Nice article. I love your prose