I watch business fairly regularly however if I was ever subjected to a quick quiz afterwards, I probably come across as shockingly ignorant. I barely fathom the analyses pronounced with a finality that makes one feel impoverished and illiterate. Stuff about entities whose abbreviations bombard us daily. If you were never great at figures and dreaded maths in school, business news always sounds complex.
Once the newscaster starts to rumble out words like, “And now a look at the Asian markets, the Nikkei index up by 0.41%….” I start to drift, count sheep in my mind and stare into space. One might know the basic financials but once you walk into Money market territory, the details start to get fuzzy especially when they bring an expert on board prone to saying incomprehensible things as, “The 7 day NIBOR closed the week at 20.83 percent, a 416 basis point decrease from the previous week’s figure of 25 percent, while the 90-day NIBOR closed the week at 22.75 percent, a 495 basis point decrease from the previous week’s figure of 22.71 percent.” Huh! Then just as you think it’s done, the pundit beaming live sinks us further into the deep blue sea of financial jargon, “Blah, Blah, retained at 12% while CBN maintained the symmetric corridor of minus 200 basis points”. I watch the mouth movements, hear the words but it all sounds like Greek to me. I mean I have really tried to pay attention and on a few occasions I realize that lot business news readers can get away with spewing gibberish. I left with the only thing can I analyze competently, which is the business clips, typical shots of buildings and bored conference participants.
The only balm to this dilemma has been the very distracting female newscasters. While most male newscasters are fairly conservative, opting for the standard grey suit, some female readers can get quite edgy for news reading. This reminds me of weather girls of the old. Most of men won’t admit it readily, but many are guilty of spending too much staring at the weather girl and hardly any attention to what she says about the state of the sky outside. Weather girls like business news readers tend to strut across the screen greatly increasing viewing options. With fashion rules gone rampant one is assured of a healthy dosage of viewings as cleavages are popping everywhere and hips tightly trussed on our screens. On many occasions, the only question in my mind, “Aren’t those trousers a little too tight?” Luckily sports cuts in and plunks us out of a possible fixation. No wonder we never remember what the business news was about. Yet we remember what the newscaster was wearing.
I think limitation on flesh exposed should be mandated for on air jobs. Female newscaster cannot be overdone. Putting sensuality on a pedestal I suppose is the only way to get, the rest of us outside the financial industry to watch business news. We sit through the rambling like obedient students taking a compulsory civic education class. To the outsider, we may appear to be listening keenly but most of the time is it the newscaster dress sense that is under scrutiny. We treat business news as a form of gibberish we have to endure while waiting for sports.
Wow! 🙂 It seems like its ‘The Scribe Lost In Biz World’ script ( draft 10)! Seriously…super piece this is!
Now these run amok fashionistas guised as newscasters? Poor distracted souls. Well if these fashionistas on air had real value for the professional look then half of the Scribe’s distraction matters would be dwelt with. Can I ask a question? Don’t the Branding People of each Media House stamp the look of these fashionistas? Another question. Do those Branding People ever give serious consideration to the Global competition? And yes, I agree ‘limitation of flesh’ and now adding contours is a good idea. I also want to add that the services of a professional makeup artist is needed. Bandikaed eyelashes and puffy eyes….please there has to be a better way to deal with “wanna be diva” mode.
Business news sucks..and if it was broadcast after the sports..none of us could wait for it..
But the optical nutrition the news casters provide is invaluable
Hehe these financial analysts and newscasters ought to come with interpreters. There is this awesome movie called Margin Call. It’s about the financial crisis that was experienced some time back. They use some big financial terms but if you pretend to understand, you will still find the movie to be very intriguing.
Hahahahahh OP got ya… No wonder you always watching business news so keenly demanding no interruption eh…
Glad to know I’m not alone. For the life of me I (very Kenyan I know) just don’t understand! Even if I did a little prepping with the Business Daily which is yet another train wreck. Good piece!
Will be back for more great and thorough information…cheers
Smiley, OP and I run on the same page. The gibberish e.g. NSE 20 share index and the other jargon should come after the sports news so that I can get a reason to change the channel to other stations whenever business comes on.
Brilliant peace.
hehehehe….”optical nutrition”
Nice read.
Consider enlarging the font and changing to double spacing….make it easier to read especially for long articles.
I totally agree, even with a few CPA courses attended and exams passed, I always get lost in business news and everyday other day,business news always sound the same, you can’t blame them for trying to give the viewers eye candy.
One thing though with dummies, us ‘biz dummies’ try to understand, the boardroom wrangles, the sacking, un-sacking and counter-sacking of CEOs,…because hardly anyone misses to hear ‘drama’!
owuowuooo…and I always thought its because all guys understand business better than us ladies. Tightening trousers are probably a good sign of their doing good business while you sit transfixed to the screen :). Hypnosis.
To be honest may men wouldn’t mind if they exposed a little more flesh, after it is business news, Lord forbid someone actually makes those numbers make sense. Legend is told of a reporter who rambled on a couple of business terms and then said the words “what this means is…” He disappeared. Right where he stood. The purpose of business news is to confuse you with facts, figures and acronyms, while showing you some boob. Just to see how long men can stand torture for a little glimpse of flesh.
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