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Age Is Just A Number Like A Jail Cell Is Just A Room

Posted on July 26, 2012August 9, 2016 by OP

I used to think that wisdom came with age and the older people got, the more sense they made of life. That was before I experienced the misguided priorities of elderly leaders.

I used to believe that age was nothing but a number. That I could do anything and age wouldn’t be an impediment. Experience has taught me that age is everything about the number. In fact your age is like your personal identification number. It is society’s way of keeping tabs on your progress because it helps society to consign you into any two of the following categories; success or failure. Life is structured around milestones. When you die, they always tell us when you were born to allow mourners to come to conclusions about the worthiness of your life.

Your eulogy is basically your resume of accomplishments on earth. Those who want it to read well at the end of this life hit the ground running a la Tupac Shakur. Society generally expects you to keep the pace of life and that may explain why with every age attained comes the pressure to catch up with the pack. Accomplishments vary and every ten years the bar is raised. In the beginning, they will expect you to walk before you can run. Mumble before you can make sense. Soon after, your first words ‘mama’ will be anticipated. If you keep everyone waiting like Einstein did for four years, they might call you a slow learner.

At about 5 years of age you quickly realize that wetting your pants doesn’t provide the same comic relief it did a few years ago. After 10 years, children who will not have gotten their toilet training in order are herded off to special schools.

Between the ages of 14-18, girls are pressurized to try out sex but with the stern warning; don’t get pregnant. Any girl, who falls pregnant and bears a child out of wedlock, earns a soiled reputation. Boys on the other hand are told to test the equipment just to make sure it fires right. As always, the unspoken rule is, “Don’t get caught”.

Girls will notice that society can get increasingly impatient with an underdeveloped chest, hence the wonder bra. By eighteen, the world expects you to look and behave like a woman because it won’t be long before you are sold off. All boys should have gotten over the rudimentary details of sex by the same age and should have moved to newer life experiences like nicotine and booze.

At 20 it is considered ignorant to describe the taste of a beer as bitter. Girls are allowed to pick up the same habits later. Somewhere between the age of 26 and 32 they will be expected to takes sides. Do you choose to be a married, shackled woman or to be a free spirited, single, sexy and independent young woman blowing out the smoke of defiance?

Guys above 25 without gainful employment find that they are of little worth in the dating circles. At that age, every woman expects you to buy at least a round of drinks once a month. Between the ages of 18- 24 many women will believe, that there is such a thing as the perfect man. They will turn down numerous prospective lovers hoping to redeem their virginity by getting married to the ultimate lover and soul mate.

The same women will shift goal posts in their thirties when the wait turns weary. Wounding encounters with men over the subsequent years, will help them lower their standards somewhat to accommodate the plump bloke from yesterday who turns out to be the only man in your life who had ever said, “ I want to marry you” and meant it.

At 30, a woman can live with tires because you realize that bald, short, beer gut men have been pulling it off for years with great results. Across town though, the successful twenty eight year old is getting dizzy from the female attention he attracts. Success he recognizes is measured by the price tag on the material possessions. Young man in big brand new car equals success. A few years afterwards, the male vitals change from car, career and wallet, to size, physique and technique.

Parenthood is open for consideration between the age of 25 and 34. They say it important to grow with your kids. Cross 35 without any trace of offspring and everyone starts to show concern, “ Why don’t you want children?”

Everyone wants to grow up until they get to thirty six. Then panic sets in and much fuss is made to arrest the ageing process. At 40 some women realize that while they may be hitting some regular peaks sexually, men are sadly on the decline or too jaded to care.

At 50, it dawns on one that a career in Kenyan politics starts in one’s mid thirties and climaxes hopefully in Presidency at the grand age of 70.

At 60 just as one finally earns some relief with the last of your grown children married, new responsibility descends as the grandchildren are sent over as the parents sort out their differences.

At 70 one has so much to share but it gets dismissed as the whining of an old timer stuck in the past. By 80, everyone is just genuinely impressed that you can use a mobile phone or send an email.

At the grand of 90, the nagging concern becomes, “How long before he croaks?”

In the end, I suppose, we will have to defend our lives. The pertinent question remains, “What did you do with your time on earth besides growing old?”

Photo credit: takerootandwrite.com

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38 thoughts on “Age Is Just A Number Like A Jail Cell Is Just A Room”

  1. Nizzy d Capitan says:
    July 26, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Always on point Pala. I certainly want to be the successful 28year old.

    Reply
  2. F_ongre says:
    July 27, 2012 at 12:38 am

    …..really touching story there OP…you put a meaning in the connection between age and number…

    Reply
  3. Magunga says:
    July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Oyunga Pala!!!! Why did you quit writing for the dailies? you are an inspiration to all of us budding writers.
    This piece is awesome!!!!

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      July 31, 2012 at 11:21 pm

      Hi Magunga,
      I am back in the dailies, check out Crazy Monday magazine, Standard newspaper every Monday.

      Reply
  4. Miss Dee says:
    July 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Wow. Time to reflect . Lovely read

    Reply
  5. Kamal says:
    July 28, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    The cycle of life.Lucky to be here but unlucky to stay here forever. Well penned.

    Reply
  6. Kamaunjane says:
    July 29, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    OP buddy…great read,loved it….age is everything about a number-I do agree with that too

    Reply
  7. benjaps says:
    July 30, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Wow. This is deep.

    Reply
  8. Malesi says:
    July 30, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    An interesting read I must say.

    Reply
  9. Japuonj Hosea Olando says:
    July 30, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    serious analysis of life and human development…. you are right OP..

    Reply
  10. Omu says:
    August 1, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Perspectives of life

    Reply
  11. Gregory says:
    August 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Why lie, this is the ultimate truth.

    Reply
  12. joeygath says:
    August 4, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Always on point, never lost your edge!

    Reply
  13. Wash says:
    August 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Always look around the bright side associated with life is one of my favorite words, as you do in your post you try never to only concentrate on the negative but also on the optimistic in every feeling along the way. Nice to read your posts, and also you bring lots of happiness into other peoples existence with them, continue to come with your great articles.

    Reply
  14. Amimo Kwambo says:
    August 9, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    Generally, wisdom comes with age and that should make one mellow. I know of some children who are ‘wiser’ beyond their years yet still very childlike, appropriately so. So I guess it’s about life’s experiences. Nothing worse than a so called adult who chooses to weaver about life like a rebellious teen with self esteem issues.

    And as pointed out ‘…. misguided priorities of elderly leaders…’ supposedly with all sorts of motives. Key word- leaders. What about our elders? Certainly not the same thing/meaning?

    A good question ..what do we do with life other than grow old? Me, I am having a Private Party and God knows it!

    I

    Reply
  15. Melissa says:
    August 23, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Hehe, you got me cracking especially with women spotting tires in their 30s and lowering their standards on men and accept the fat plump ones. Hehe, absolutely hilarious.

    Reply
  16. Sharon says:
    August 31, 2012 at 1:36 am

    Hahahaha! So true. ..

    Reply
  17. Bret says:
    September 7, 2012 at 6:43 am

    I likе the helpful іnformatiоn уou providе іn your aгticles.
    I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I’m quіte sure Ι wіll learn plenty of nеw stuff right hеre!
    Βest of luck for the neхt!

    Reply
  18. Reed Gladstein says:
    September 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Great post! We will be linking to this great content on our site. Keep up the great writing.

    Reply
  19. Richu says:
    September 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

    “What did you do with your time on earth besides growing old?”- what a punch line classic good writing

    Reply
  20. Wanga Odundo says:
    September 11, 2012 at 9:21 am

    I just love your articles Oyunga. I have always loved them!!!

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      September 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

      Appreciate it Wanga. Keep tuned.

      Reply
  21. Robbie Guitard says:
    October 28, 2012 at 11:22 pm

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    Reply
  22. on the main page says:
    October 29, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog
    soon but I’m having a difficult time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
    P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

    Reply
  23. Mad says:
    April 1, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this superb blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

    Reply
  24. Et'al says:
    May 22, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    “Girls will notice that society can get increasingly impatient with an underdeveloped chest”……..likewise boys will with their incapability to timely unstrap a bra……
    Good piece man.

    Reply
  25. prada 財布 2014 says:
    January 27, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    This is nicely said. .

    Reply
  26. Roy says:
    August 23, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    Today on my birthday I got to read this article…thanks man I have now opened my eyes…. perfect birthday gift Pala…on point and bith ka pala

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      August 23, 2016 at 4:12 pm

      Karibu Roy. Grow wise and prosperous

      Reply
  27. marina says:
    September 23, 2016 at 9:57 am

    Just how trapped we are with growing up that we forget the big picture. Clearly there is more to life that is yet to be explored and embraced by society. Nice piece OP.

    Reply
  28. gєσffrєч k.. says:
    February 27, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    I like this message, you teach both teenagers and adults, Thαnk you Mr Oyunga….

    Reply
  29. Elijah Mwiti says:
    April 4, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    Thanks for insightful message, I will check the dailies,I have got the information from the above comments. God bless you OP.

    Reply
  30. samuel dzombo says:
    April 19, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    Age.Age.Age.Age.Age……..is just but a NUMBER!!!!!!!

    Reply
  31. DENNIS CHANDE says:
    July 3, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    I had almost missed this gem!

    Reply
    1. OP says:
      July 3, 2017 at 10:19 pm

      It is an old piece. Still remains relevant.

      Reply
      1. DENNIS CHANDE says:
        July 4, 2017 at 8:36 pm

        Missed the #CrazyMonday piece of last week, the Monday of 26/6/2017. Was traveling. Where do I get to read it?

  32. Ezekiel kuol Abuk says:
    July 20, 2019 at 11:54 pm

    There is one thing I admired about writers. They love each other unlike musicians that get consumed by jealousy when one of their own shine. My favourite blogger Biko Zulu recommended you for me and I’m so much please to bumped into this two talented Morden day godfathers of creativity.

    Reply
  33. Ken baro says:
    August 10, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    Very Factual

    Reply

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Oyunga Pala is a pioneering satirist and columnist. He remains one of the most impactful, Kenyan columnists of his generation. He examines the texture of everyday life, moving away from the traditional idea of African men as victims of modernity and disillusion. His writings commonly feature the struggles of African men to maintain integrity as they navigate the pathways of power, fatherhood, memory, and existence.

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Oyunga Pala is a pioneering satirist and columnist. He remains one of the most impactful, Kenyan columnists of his generation. He examines the texture of everyday life, moving away from the traditional idea of African men as victims of modernity and disillusion. His writings commonly feature the struggles of African men to maintain integrity as they navigate the pathways of power, fatherhood, memory, and existence.

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